Let’s Learn Japanese, OK?!!

Here’s a crash course primer in survival Japanese that anyone should know before coming to this strange and wonderful country. Mind you, I’m still learning too, so this is by no means a comprehensive list. Let’s begin, shall we?

Atsui
If you come to Japan in the summertime, like I did, this will be one of the first words you’ll learn. It means: “Jesus, it’s hot!” I can’t even count how many times I’ve heard this at school alone. It is pronounced “ATS-ui,” “swi,” or— when it’s just too damn hot to say the whole thing— a “tss” that sounds like letting air out of a tire. In the teacher’s room, which is air conditioned, teachers will moan it. In the (un-air conditioned) classroom, fanning themselves and wiping the sweat off their glowing faces, students will sigh it. Use it to initiate conversation. It’s like socially acceptable cursing. Everybody agrees with you, and we’re all united in our damp, sticky misery.

Doko
This word is indispensable! It means “where.” It’s helped me many times. And if I understood half of what I got as an answer, it’d probably be even more helpful. But you can ask something like: “To-i-re wa doko desu ka? (Where is the toilet?)” or “Ba-su wa doko? (Where’s the bus?)” or just point to something and say: “Doko? (Where is this?)” The great thing about that last one is they’ll automatically know you’re a dummy, and hopefully dumb down their Japanese.

E, to…
OK, this technically isn’t a real word and has no literal meaning. But it’s an often-used phrase, kind of like the Japanese version of “uuuh…” or “let’s see…” If you ask a question, it’s always “Eeeh, tooooh…” before the other person answers. Or, “Eh, to, ne…” (The ne is like adding “eh?” or “isn’t that so?” So, “hmm.. eh?”). An easy phrase to master, and one you’ll use if you’ve been here long enough; I’ve heard 2nd and 3rd year JETs say it like it’s second nature.

Irasshaimase
You probably won’t ever have to say this, but you’ll be greeted by it in every store you walk into, from the high end de-pa-to (department stores) to tiny ramen-ya. Basically it’s a super polite welcoming that only shopkeepers use to greet customers. They use a special voice for it, too (no doubt to get your attention), a loud, nasally tone, rising in volume at the end: “Irasshaimaseeeeeeeh!” Sometimes they’ll say it even if no one has walked in the store, as it to confirm their own existence.

Kawaii
“KA-WA-I-I-I!!!” Means “cute,” “very cute,” or “pretty pretty cute cute!” I don’t know if people think everything is cute, or, as we have seen before, just don’t have other words to describe things. But to their credit, many things in Japan are indeed very cute… I hear this word an awful lot from young girls, especially when they’re talking about their new ALT. ; ) Just make sure you pronounce the “ka,” otherwise the word can sound like kowai, which means “scary”!

Nihonjin janai yo
Alright, I learned this from a silly video at Tokyo Orientation about being a JET of Asian descent. Pretty much 99% of the time, people will think you’re Japanese, so whip out this phrase when things get out of hand. It means: “Look, I’m not Japanese, ok?!” Other non-Asian looking foreigners out there need not bother memorizing this phrase…

Oishii
The Japanese have very few words for describing the tastiness of food. Whereas in English, we have delicious, tasty, scrumptious, delectable, etc., the Japanese just have oishii* (and that’s probably why they use it so much). An elegant kaiseki ryori meal, a piece of fine sashimi, instant ramen, a bowl of rice… it’s all oishii. Or, “Oishiii!!” accompanied by a revelatory expression on the face, as if to say: “What is this marvelous taste I have never before tasted in my life?! Help! It is so delicious, AAAAAH!!!”

It’s also worth mentioning that I’ve never been to a place that is so discriminating about their rice. I’ve never really considered the deliciousness of my rice before, just as long as it wasn’t mushy or too hard or gone bad. But apparently, the taste of rice is a very serious concern for the people of Japan. Commercials for rice cookers usually involve a pretty lady taking a bite of pearly rice, still steaming from its 1000W womb, and sighing: “oishii….” into thin air. Of course, so much depends on the type of rice you use, but they say the more expensive your rice cooker, the more delicious your rice. I don’t have a rice cooker (yet), so I can’t really support/refute that statement. Rice cookers here cost more than microwaves, and even the toy-sized ones run about 4000+yen. I told my vice principal I was thinking of getting one of the cheap ones, and she gave me a strange “ Oh, dear...” kind of smile. Apparently those are only fit for making rice porridge. Good thing I’m not picky about microwaveable rice.

*There are other words for delicious, which are umai, or the popular backwards-slang-version, mai-u. But you only say this if you’re a man or a young person. The rest of us genteel folks say oishii.

Sugoi
“S-goi!” This means “Awesome! Great!!” It will often be heard coming from the mouths of high school kids and screaming television game show hosts, especially if something extraordinary is happening before their eyes, like flipping an omelet or opening the lid of a rice cooker or a foreigner speaking Japanese. “SGO-I SGO-I SGO-I!!!”

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Of course, there are many, many more words to learn. Japanese is made up of many words, most of which I will never learn. But I’m getting sleepy, and I can’t wait to sleep in tomorrow morning. I hope you’ve learned something today. Until next time, from the land of rising suns and squatting toilets, I bid you O-yasuminasai (good night)!